I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
