hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
