Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
