I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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