areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
