May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
