dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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