So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
