i think i have herpe
just one?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
