now i know why i became what i already was.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
