Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Randomize
