I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
