her vagine was all disorganized.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
