Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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