You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
