Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
