My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
