his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
