Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
