Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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