Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
