well you can't waste a boner
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize