Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I don't deserve a penis
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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