i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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