im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
