Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize