I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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