shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i permit you to call me
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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