I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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