I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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