before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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