i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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