i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
