I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
one might say we're banned from that church
handjob tips. give me some.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
