I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize