I am spending my child support on dildos
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
