apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
