See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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