i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
