she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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