I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
