Your mouth is God's brothel.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
4 words: hood of his car
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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