her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
