Me too!
Life is so much better after having sex.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
