oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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