Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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