is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
