Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
