fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I will pee on everything he values.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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