he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
