yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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