What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize