I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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