Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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