Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
