I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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