i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize