I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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