Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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