Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
