Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize