Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize